This guide may seem directed mostly at fandom in some places, because that's how it started. But I'd like to think it could be useful for everybody.

One of the things that becomes clear if you spend enough time around the internet is that there are people who are versed in anti-oppression discourse and people who are not. To the latter category of people, the former can seem like capricious, pretentious, self-righteous, arbitrary judges, eager to exercise their powers to declare you Unfit As A Human Being. To the former, the latter category of people can seem ignorant, rude, and selfish.

(I've found that the best way to find out what category of person you're talking to is to drop the word "privilege" and see how they react. But that's a subject for later.)

Here's the thing: everyone in Category A was once in Category B. Yes, even if they are a queer woman of color--they were probably once kind of douchey to disabled people, before they grew up and realized how society at large fucks up everybody's heads in some way or another. So, this guide is for the Category B people who don't want to be douchebags, but who don't really get what the big deal is about "privilege" and "kyriarchy" and are tired of being accused of being bigots.

You aren't Unfit As Human Beings. You just need to adjust your goggles a bit.

( The Situation )

( The Advice )

Quote from a source which does not need to be named, because it was a random MU* discussion and who gives a fuck:

Modern Feminism isn't about equal rights, it's about subjugating men. It's a yoyo affect [sic] that happens whenever an oppressed group is empowered.

No. This "yo-yo effect" is imaginary, caused by taking the known fact that individuals abused as children are more likely to become abusers as adults and generalizing it to the very different dynamic applied to an entire group of people. It makes a pretty story (oh, the tragic cycle of abuse!), but it's wrong on so many levels. For one, it implies that any time a disadvantaged group starts to regain power, they will abuse it. For another, it paints every questionable action they take as somehow related to their minority status. That woman didn't hit her male child because of her own anger management issues and violent personality, she did it because she's a woman!

I would like to stop seeing it applied to any disadvantaged group that is now starting to reclaim its power, whether that group be women, people of color, or Jews. We can still criticize the things that particular feminist groups, black politicians you don't like, or the Israeli government have done. But we can do it without the tiresome "cycle of abuse" narrative and all its ugly implications about the inescapability of "oppressed" status and the fears of power falling into minority hands.

I'm cranky, and I'm going back to my video game now.

So, this post about female characters is being linked around, and while it's interesting and informative and clever, it leaves me somewhat dissatisfied.

Here's the thing. I don't believe you can fully grasp the issue of why there is so much dislike of and dissatisfaction with fictional women until you acknowledge that sexism and misogyny influence everyone. Not just the creators in making limited, stereotypical, flat characters, and not just the audience in rejecting so many female characters. Just because you love an author doesn't mean he can't fuck up and unconsciously let some unfortunate attitudes slip into his character construction, and just because we are supposedly Enlightened Fans does not magically make us free of the mental lens of sexism.

It is a fact that far too many female characters are hampered by authors (sometimes male, sometimes female) putting them in unfairly sexist situations, stereotyping them, defining them by their sexuality, using them as props to build up the male characters, and in general seeing them as women rather than characters. Yes, even now.

It is also a fact that female characters are consistently held to higher standards than male characters, and often arbitrary ones at that. Male characters are rarely judged on whether they fall on the "proper" place on the personality spectrum between aggressive and nurturing. Only self-proclaimed moral guardians complain if they're "bad role models," and then only if the canon in question is aimed at children. If they have a romantic subplot and it's not well-received, they're not likely to be the one taking the blame from fandom (and even if they do, the girl will almost certainly take some heat too, and the reverse is not true). They're less likely to be criticized by fandom for their sexuality. Male characters are not judged as representatives of their entire gender--although of course this is in part because they're almost never intended as representatives of their entire gender.

Your favorite series and its creators don't get a "get out of jail free" card for sexism. Neither do you.

So I was going through old metafandom posts and I ran across this little gem:

The idea that I automatically have to like a woman because she is a woman is absurd and the idea that I have to automatically like a female character is equally absurd (especially since that would mean I had to like every single writer's views of women and consider every writer talented).

Oh, for the love of God.

Okay! First things first: I'm not attacking whoever said this. I think it was probably just a slip of the tongue fingers. But it's telling, isn't it?

No, of course as a woman or as a person, you are not obligated to like every female character. But here's the thing: that's not because you're not obligated to like every woman. It's because you're not obligated to like every person.

Liking a female character =/= endorsing the author's views on women. After all, nobody would ever say something as absurd as:

...the idea that I have to automatically like a male character is equally absurd (especially since that would mean I had to like every single writer's views of men and consider every writer talented).

Because except in really egregious cases of gender stereotyping, nobody thinks of male characters as men first and people second. With female characters in fiction and women in reality, though? All the goddamn time.

Look, people. Sometimes it's a good idea to step back and think about what female characters say about an author's view of women. And if it means you find yourself unable to like those female characters, so be it. But as much as possible, can't we try to think of female characters as characters instead of Representations of Women?

See, some people believe that the vast pool of hate for female characters in fandom stems entirely from mainstream creators' inability to write women. Some people believe that it stems entirely from fandom's misogyny and double standards. Me? I think it's a nasty intersection of the two.

Yeah. Writers are going to let sexism influence their portrayal of women. That sucks. What can we do about it? We can point it out when it happens and give the writers themselves grief about it (instead of railing about how horrible and weak and bad the female characters themselves are--counterproductive and victim-blaming much? Even when the victim's not a real person it's a bad habit to fall into). We can write realistic, believable, fully-rounded female characters of our own. That's about it.

But what can we do to make fandom a more feminist, woman-positive, and welcoming environment? We can look at female characters as people first--regardless of whether they were written that way. It doesn't mean you're a tool of the patriarchy, I promise. You might even be surprised by how much you like.

(I can go into this in more detail later. For now? This is it, I think. Despite it being dreadfully incoherent and not really saying half of what I want to say.)

Found on fandomsecrets, like all headdesk-inducing things these days:

I love strong girls. I get pissed off when girls act like spineless whiny ninnies. Then I realize that not every girl can be as awesome as me. XD Someone's gotta be the weak useless foil that makes the good girls shine.

I can't believe I never noticed this before.

In fandom and perhaps in other parts of life, "strong kickass tough girl/'weak' gentle girly girl" is the new madonna/whore dichotomy. All while the old one still exists in the background (and sometimes in the foreground).

Discuss.

(Yes, I'm being serious, but feel free to also bring the lulz, because otherwise I may get too cranky.)

"Hmm, female characters kind of get shafted in fiction. How do we deal with that?"

"I KNOW! Let's take the few fully-rounded female characters who do exist and hold them to sexist standards!"

I mean, you're allowed to dislike whatever, but if you're going to hate on female characters for not living up to expectations that are usually suspiciously higher than those for male characters, at least don't cloak it in "but I only want what's right for my fellow women!"

Ergh.

The next man (or, hell, woman, because it happens) to comment on some complaint about the constant sexualization (it is too a word, Firefox) and objectification of women in society with something to the effect of, "Men have the same problem, so stop complaining!" will feel my wrath. Or not, because it can be difficult to convey wrath properly over the internets, and I am a shy and retiring creature in RL, but you know.

Yes, our society and all others that I can think of place too much emphasis on appearances for all genders. This does not change the fact that when it comes to oppression via sexualization and objectification (which is not the same thing as the general pressure to look unrealistically good), women have it waaay worse than men.

We have, in fact, thought of the men. We looked at the world around us, thought of the men, and came to the conclusion that when it comes to appearance-based pressures, they've got it better than us.

So, I had an idea.

This was partly spun off me reading The Alien Years, by Robert Silverberg, which is one of the most dreadfully sexist books I've read in a long time--when I finish it (sigh), I'll rant about why.

It's partly inspired by all the BLAH BLAH GIRLS SUCK NO THEY DON'T I'M NOT SEXIST YOU ARE shit flying on fandomsecrets lately.

But it's also just something I'm interested in.

Would you be interested--and do you think a sustainable number of other people would be interested--if I created an LJ community devoted in general to discussing treatment of gender in fiction and fandom and, in specific, to reclaiming female characters and encouraging women-positive messages in fiction and fandom?

You'd think this would have been done already. If it has been, I can't find it (please link me if you know it's been done). Maybe other feminists are not as pathetically obsessed with fandom as I am, and when they want to do something to help women, they actually go out and help women instead of rambling about fandom. But, well, I talk about this stuff enough anyway. This would give me a positive outlet for it.