I know it's a while yet until the holidays. I know you don't actually exist. Sorry. But I'd like to beat the rush and make my request early this year.
For Chanukah, I would like a new upper respiratory system.
Preferably, it would have a normal trachea to replace my mutant one. Also, I know this one's probably rather thickened, mucus-laden, and possibly scarred at this point. My new one should not have these extra features.
It should be rather less gregarious than my current one, less willing to host parties for whatever virii pass it by. If it must host said parties, it should be firm about the end dates of them. No more of this "I like you, why don't you linger around for a while?" stuff.
This respiratory system seems to think it's cool to simulate a few symptoms of a minor cold even when I'm healthy. Please make sure my new one has a different opinion.
Most importantly, I'd like to request no goddamn cough keeping me awake at night no matter how otherwise healthy I am.