ZERO :: the Fool (annwyd) wrote,
ZERO :: the Fool

i am so going to DIE for this

Rated PG-13 for BOOBIES.

The question needed to be asked, and it was the sort of question that made Sakura glad she had a female teacher now.

Still, she was hesitant. She hovered in front of the desk for a long moment before finally straightening up, gathering up her willpower, and saying, "Tsunade-sensei, I think I've...grown recently. I tried asking my mother about this, but...that was just embarrassing, so..." She took a deep breath. "Can you give me any tips on shopping for bras?"

Tsunade paused for a moment, then looked up at her consideringly. "I'd help you, but I don't wear bras anymore."

"What?" Sakura felt her eyes drawn against her will down to Tsunade's chest. "But you..."

"I know, I know. I need them more than anyone." Tsunade rolled her eyes and offered Sakura a small, reassuring smile. "Don't worry, I've got back support jutsu. I'm fine."

Sakura couldn't quite keep the relief from reaching her face. "But...why not? If it's all right to ask, Tsunade-sensei," she added quickly. "Is it just that they're uncomfortable?"

Tsunade hesitated. Then she said, "Not exactly. It's a long story."

"I have time," Sakura said. This was true; she knew that at home, her mother was still busy going through a fit of 'oh, no, my baby's growing up!' Asking her about bras had been a mistake.

Tsunade sighed. "Well, all right." She leaned forward on her desk. "I was fourteen," she began, "and I'd really been...developing over the past year." She scowled. "Jiraiya had finally stopped calling me flat-chested. I had finally begun wearing bras, too.

"One day, I was supposed to dress up for a family dinner--" She paused at Sakura's expression. "My family was important," she reminded her. "Sometimes we had to be formal. I put everything on, but for some reason my bra was uncomfortable. It kept slipping to one side or another, or...wiggling..." She looked distracted for a moment, then shook her head. "I tried to tolerate it, because I was supposed to be very proper that night, but..."

Was Tsunade going a little red in the cheeks? She couldn't possibly be blushing, Sakura was sure. "But then what?"

"But then," Tsunade said with a certain resignation to her voice, "it finally got to be too much. At first I thought maybe it had shrunk in the wash or something, was moving too much by that point. So I decided someone had set a trap in my clothing. I'd take it off as soon as dinner was over." She sighed. "But it was just too much. I couldn't wait that long. Finally, I gave up, jumped out of my seat, pulled open my shirt, yanked the bra out, and performed Genjutsu Kai on it--"

"And then?"

There was a long pause as Tsunade stared reflectively into the distance. "After he got out of the hospital, Jiraiya was forbidden from ever using henge no jutsu around me again."

Sakura took a moment to digest this. Finally, she said, "He's off teaching Naruto right now."


"You don't think...he'd teach that..."

Tsunade grinned. "He knows that if he did, I'd make sure he never got to enjoy any of his favorite activities ever again."

"Good," Sakura declared. Then she paused. "Wait, there are still women who'd--with him--"

"It's better not to think about it," Tsunade advised her.
Tags: funny, naruto, twisted, writing

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