It's going to come down to a dramatic showdown between Naruto and Sasuke. Sakura will stand on the sidelines, because she mysteriously quit being a ninja a month ago. She's wearing a little pink dress and clutching her stomach.
Naruto and Sasuke fight. Naruto totally pwns Sasuke, because he has the will of fire. He starts to pick Sasuke and heft him over his shoulder to carry him nobly home.
Then, out of nowhere, the Akatsuki Leader appears--it's Rin, by the way--followed by Tobi, who is actually Obito. They throw a big kunai at Sakura, which of course she can't dodge by herself.
Shock of shocks--Sasuke takes the blow for her! With his dying breath, he confesses to Naruto that he was never interested in vengeance at all. From the beginning, he realized that Sakura would someday be pregnant with Naruto's baby, as she is now (we flash to her two-months-pregnant stomach, and we see that the hand clutching it bears a wedding band), and so he removed himself from her life so that she could be safer and threw all his effort into training to protect the baby. Now that he has fulfilled his destiny, he can die happy, knowing that he has protected the precious next generation of Konoha.
Sasuke dies. Naruto tosses off a rasengan at the AL and Tobi, killing them. Then he embraces Sakura, picks her up, and gently carries her home to Konoha.
a_white_rain: AND LIKE WHEN DID ASUMA AND KURNIA GET MARRIED?
annwyd: After helping Shikamaru, Asuma's ghost went off to marry Kurenai. :D
a_white_rain: MY PET THEORY IS THAT SHIKAMARU IS THE DAD
annwyd: THAT WOULD BE COOL
a_white_rain: it needs to be mroe wtfy and soap operay
annwyd: I hope the baby is born with the lower body of a dog and the head of a bug.
annwyd: And Byakugan.
a_white_rain: NO THE BABY WILL BE A MARY SUE WHO'LL SAVE THE WORLD
annwyd: Because Asuma wasn't enough to satisfy Kurenai; she had to be tapping her team on the side.
a_white_rain: AND TEAM SEVEN IS GOING TO MOVE TO SAND BEAUSE LEAF HAS BECOME INSANE
annwyd: YES. GAARA WILL WELCOME THEM.
annwyd: And since she dumped Shikamaru, Temari will have sex with Sakura.
a_white_rain: SEE THE SAND ARC MADE SENSE AND WAS POWERFUL.
a_white_rain: I APPROVE
annwyd: Hinata can come with them too before Kishimoto rapes her.
a_white_rain: AND TEAM GAI.
annwyd: No, Team Gai can go join another manga.
a_white_rain: Because they don't suck yet and Tenten is hot randomly
a_white_rain: WHICH ONE THOUGH?
annwyd: FOR TATI
a_white_rain: AHAHA GAI/GUTT OTP
I just separated my Temari keychain from my Shikamaru keychain, pulled off my key, and hung up the Temari one. My key is now on my Shunsui/Nanao keychain. >(